Ridley Scott | Fast Lane Film

Have you ever left a movie theater and asked yourself what the hell just happened? Ridley Scott’s The Counselor left me confused and disappointed, despite a red-hot cast and seemingly entertaining plot. The ingredients were top-shelf, but the final dish left me unsatisfied. Let’s examine briefly why I thought this would have been a good movie, that way if you were intrigued by the same factors – I can save you the trouble of buying a movie ticket or even watching the bootleg.

Michael Fassbender (Prometheus) is a very talented actor. He has the versatility to do mainstream movies like those of the X-Men franchise, but also the gravitas to take on movies like Shame, where he blew me away with a raw, intense performance. Penelope Cruz (Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides) and Javier Bardem (Skyfall) are Academy Award winning actors, and Cameron Diaz has plenty of hits under her belt. Brad Pitt is, well…Brad Pitt. The cast clearly pulled me in, but I also like movies of this type. Crime-themed, maybe a little on the violent and sexy side. Check, check, and check. Imagine my dismay when it became clear to me that The Counselor was a turd.

Fassbender stars in the title role, and we never get his real name. Everyone annoyingly refers to him as “Counselor,” which stops being clever relatively quickly. Cruz is featured as Laura, his adoring fiancé who is naïve to her lover’s questionable legal ventures. Presumably to keep his beloved in the lifestyle to which she is accustomed, or perhaps just due to good old-fashioned greed – the Counselor decides to participate in a questionable transaction with a high-level drug kingpin. Javier Bardem is Reiner, the client who helps broker the unseen deal. Cameron Diaz (Bad Teacher) smolders as Reiner’s girlfriend Malkina, contrasting sharply with Laura. Brad Pitt makes an appearance as a middleman for the deal. And this is right about where I got lost – shortly after the movie began promisingly enough with an introduction to the main players.

The chief problem with The Counselor was not one of the performances. The cast was powerless to elevate their roles above the source material, though Fassbender certainly gave it a go. Actually, they were all rather alluring characters, in their own way. But the movie was all over the place. It’s almost like some scenes were deleted and we got a rough cut. I’m talking plot holes the size of the Grand Canyon. The script lacked cohesion, which led to illogical things happening. I went to a late showing, so I wondered if maybe my eyelids got heavy at one point and I’d missed something. Nope, the consensus is that it sucked. Perhaps this movie will air on cable one night and you can laugh at the unintentional comedy. That’s the only recommended viewing for this stinker. Grade: D

This ain’t gonna be my best review, cuz I wasn’t feelin’ it. Glad to have that disclaimer outta the way.

I don’t care about the backstory of Prometheus. I know it’s the latest effort by the acclaimed Ridley Scott (American Gangster), but other than that I know nothing about it. I later discovered that it was intended as a prequel to the Alien franchise, Scott’s hit science fiction offering starring Sigourney Weaver as a space traveler who becomes infected/possessed by an alien. I wasn’t particularly intrigued by the trailer, but the buzz around Prometheus began to swell, so I thought – why not check it out? The cast looked good, if nothing else. I’m a fan of Noomi Rapace (The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo), Charlize Theron (Hancock), and Idris Elba (Thor). Michael Fassbender (X-Men: First Class) was another noteworthy addition.

Rapace stars as Elizabeth Shaw, one of a cadre of intergalactic space travelers who are heading across the galaxy in a quest to uncover the secrets of the universe. She is joined by Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall-Green, Devil), who shares her rabid curiosity. In total there are about seven or eight crew members, and their ship is piloted by Elba’s character Janek. After landing on a foreign planet, two members of the crew discover a mysterious black goo. They also learn that the human race descended from some early alien species bearing slight resemblance to humans now, only much larger. Elizabeth is fascinated by the idea of learning about the inception of humanity and wants badly to know who or what created the human race and why. They think the key to learning this will be instrumental in helping their home planet. Elizabeth’s curiosity is premised on the idea that we were created by benevolent beings for a meaningful purpose. This reminded me of the tenets of Christianity, as Christians believe that they were created with love by God in His own image. However, the crew soon learns that our distant intergalactic ancestors were not so magnanimous in their creation of mankind. When they encounter one in their exploration, he seems like he doesn’t appreciate being disturbed. Meanwhile, the two members of the crew that discovered the black substance have been infected by it. One is dead and the other barely alive. Charlize Theron’s character is the leader of the crew, and she refuses to let the infected member return to their ship. Unbeknownst to her, Elizabeth has also been infected, much like Sigourney Weaver was in the previous Aliens movie. Elizabeth manages to oust the creature from her body, but it is still contained on the ship.

That was a very basic plot synopsis. I really don’t know what else to say about Prometheus, other than I didn’t care for it. It was not a bad movie, but it just didn’t do anything for me. I probably got some of the finer points of the plot incorrect; but it doesn’t really matter, it’s close enough. I was drawn in the by cast, and I did find them capable – but that was about it. I asked others what they enjoyed about the film and they mentioned Noomi Rapace’s resilience. I agree that her character was a strong one, and I do think she is a wonderful actress. However, it wasn’t enough to say that the movie was ‘good.’ Charlize Theron’s role was almost entirely inconsequential. No big deal. Neither was Idris Elba. His American accent was horrible. I should have listened to my first instinct and avoided this movie, mainly because Sci-Fi movies are not my preferred genre. I don’t like the average Sci-Fi movie; I only enjoy the very high concept ones like Inception or Avatar. I usually give letter grades for movies, but I think I should abstain in this case, because it wasn’t a bad movie; I just didn’t care for it. Remember those pass/fail classes you took in college, where no letter grade was given, you simply just pass or fail? Prometheus gets a pass.